No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
