im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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