The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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