What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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