it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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