Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
