Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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