I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
