; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
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