I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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