i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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