M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
