I wish my penis had an off switch
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the room spins SO much faster in panama
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
