Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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