YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
