whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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