I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
