Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You took a bar mat shot.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
He better not be in your backpack
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
