I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
