I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my sisters under your porch take her home
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
