Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
