youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
