Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
