i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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