is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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