Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
PANTIES FOUND
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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