Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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