real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
