So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
