Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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