does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize