you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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