new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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