So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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