she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
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Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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