Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Randomize