Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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