does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
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I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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