I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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