Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
