wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Randomize
