Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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