their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
