I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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