I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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