I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
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the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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