So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
