I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
