i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
