I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
smell my finger.
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Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
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No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize