So drunk, too bad you don't want this
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
