I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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