Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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