Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
