I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
