Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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