Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
