did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
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I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in