just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
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