Texts From Last Night

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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.

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  (228): two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter. http://tfl.nu/ayzd
  Replies (26) Good night (834) Bad night (3823)
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  (315): View more from New York

  the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.

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  (315): the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time. http://tfl.nu/zyda
  Replies (19) Good night (5697) Bad night (826)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests

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  (541): my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests http://tfl.nu/dcsh
  Replies (201) Good night (81562) Bad night (4778)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

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  (315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5
  Replies (56) Good night (5719) Bad night (954)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.

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  (715): Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's. http://tfl.nu/k4yu
  Replies (20) Good night (1414) Bad night (4515)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.

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  (201): I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high. http://tfl.nu/lc86
  Replies (37) Good night (6711) Bad night (1127)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered

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  (+44): Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered http://tfl.nu/4p47
  Replies (9) Good night (715) Bad night (4063)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?

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  (443): does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us? http://tfl.nu/0adv
  Replies (7) Good night (1046) Bad night (3871)
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  (805): View more from California

  found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.

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  (805): found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up. http://tfl.nu/2xcc
  Replies (3) Good night (1471) Bad night (915)
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  (707): View more from California

  He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.

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  (707): He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/ve7z
  Replies (21) Good night (7434) Bad night (1194)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.

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  (360): There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe. http://tfl.nu/9hec
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (1307)
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  (626): View more from California

  Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?

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  (626): Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester? http://tfl.nu/lq06
  Replies (22) Good night (4527) Bad night (1173)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.

  (1-630): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know

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  (630): You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican. (1-630): I don't even want to know http://tfl.nu/s13d
  Replies (3) Good night (1256) Bad night (599)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

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  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (528) Bad night (1706)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.

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  (256): Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive. http://tfl.nu/eyz9
  Replies (8) Good night (915) Bad night (574)

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