Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  Ambien. No doubt about it.

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  (310) Ambien. No doubt about it. http://tfl.nu/jq44
  Replies (3) Good night (972) Bad night (511)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming

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  (703): my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming http://tfl.nu/nmyq
  Replies (13) Good night (666) Bad night (3611)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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  (303): I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college http://tfl.nu/ihdi
  Replies (35) Good night (5113) Bad night (741)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.

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  (847): I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking. http://tfl.nu/ou65
  Replies (17) Good night (5159) Bad night (1407)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.

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  (214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. http://tfl.nu/1dnu
  Replies (22) Good night (9511) Bad night (1200)
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  (925): View more from California

  its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife

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  (925): its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife http://tfl.nu/e55k
  Replies (17) Good night (4023) Bad night (1239)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  SMART GIRL

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  (978): there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's (1-978): SMART GIRL http://tfl.nu/njon
  Replies (2) Good night (1802) Bad night (660)
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  (925): View more from California

  she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out

  (1-925): View more from California

  this was your mom?

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  (925): she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out (1-925): this was your mom? http://tfl.nu/x3f7
  Replies (4) Good night (1369) Bad night (693)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.

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  (724): We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila. http://tfl.nu/zwy5
  Replies (5) Good night (1134) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.

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  (419): You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell. http://tfl.nu/iyko
  Replies (5) Good night (1228) Bad night (424)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.

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  (614): I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower. http://tfl.nu/c26q
  Replies (15) Good night (601) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20

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  (213): Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20 http://tfl.nu/udx8
  Replies (8) Good night (1338) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.

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  (310): I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/rytq
  Replies (5) Good night (723) Bad night (327)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine

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  (574): I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here... (614): Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine http://tfl.nu/936x
  Replies (1) Good night (903) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.

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  (630): Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into. http://tfl.nu/ua4k
  Replies (2) Good night (445) Bad night (273)

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