Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
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