Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it