I wanna eat
then eat your cupcake
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST