Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
