No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
