just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
