ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
